he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
