I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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