I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
