fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
