Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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