Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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