found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
