I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
