she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
