it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
