i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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