Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
