I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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