I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
