Whod you bang
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Even my vagina gasped.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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