i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
