I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
