i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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