He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
