We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Damn victory sex feels great
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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