I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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