You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When did we convert life to cartoon?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
