Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
