he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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