i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
