No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
