Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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