I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
