I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
