I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
