he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
