My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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