What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
