I heard we made out
I accidentally burped into my bong.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
