Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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