if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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