I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
