This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
