let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
