I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
