tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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