He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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