KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
