dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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