did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
