your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
