Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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