how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
