I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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