i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
